Put Out the Flame!


Will and Grace, Project Runway, Extreme Makeover, Ugly Betty, Glee, and any show on HGTV. What do all these shows have in common? Flamers!

For years now the media outlets have been flooded with the stereotyped gay man: flamboyant, knows all about fashion, is a decorating expert, talks with a lisp, knows musicals by heart, and loves to go shopping and do other girly girl activities.

In reality, not many gay men even follow this persona. While it is true that most of us know a bit more about fashion and home decorating (probably because unlike straight men we don’t have wives to do it all for us), most of us certainly don’t come anywhere near the stereotype. Most gay men I’ve met, including myself, are regular guys doing guy things. They enjoy sports, working out, watching manly movies (although I must admit I do like a chic flick now and then), and shopping or doing someone’s hair is certainly not on their agenda.

So why is it that the media is so persistent on keeping this faux image alive?

What’s ironic is that my parents don’t suspect me of being gay because of this gay stereotype broadcasted daily on TV. They probably pass a dozen gay guys throughout the day and think nothing of it because they don’t fall into that faux bracket.

And for someone from a Middle Eastern family, it’s really important for me that this stereotype is broken, for it is because of this flamboyant image that my parents are so homophobic. They think that its’ shameful and unnatural for a man to act like a woman. They want their sons to be just that, sons, and be solid bodies for their families.

While I personally don’t have anything against flamers, I certainly don’t date them and I’m not too keen on befriending them either, simply because we have nothing in common. As a gay man, I’m interested in dating MEN, not men who act like women. Otherwise I’d just date a woman! I know many men who feel the same way, and if you take a peek at most online dating profiles, you’d witness the same thing.

So isn’t it high time that the media put the flame out on flamers? They clearly don’t represent the majority of gay men and as entertaining as they can be, they are as disastrous to our image as the Taliban to Arabs, or Sarah Palin to Americans everywhere.

With rising shows that showcase regular gay guys, such as “Happy Endings” on ABC, there might still be hope for our image.


About thepersiancloset

Hey there! I'm a gay Iranian-American raised in the US, studying Dentistry and hoping to open up my own practice some day. Being brought up in a Persian household proved (and proves!) to be difficult when my very liberal gay self clashes with the more conservative members of the household. Follow me on a week to week journey of growing up Gay in the Persian closet!
This entry was posted in Media and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Put Out the Flame!

  1. Unabridged Girl says:

    I was so confused on how you have music on here, until I got to the end of this post. Hahaha. And your blog layout is fantastic! I don’t have many gay friends, but out of the ones I do have, only 2 of them act, as you called it, like a flamer? LoL I guess, in the end, we are who we are, or who we believe we are, or what we are trying to be. Very pretty music!

    • Kind of feel bad for taking so long to reply…

      Anyways thanks for the visit! And I have nothing against flamers, they are, as you say, who they are. I just don’t like them being portrayed as THE gay man.

      I’m glad you’ve enjoyed the music, I change it up from time to time so whenever you feel down you’re welcome to stop by and listen in.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s