the Dumb Things Straight People Say

 

source: picturesdepot

Outside the realm of homophobic straight folks, lies the accepting liberal world of heterosexuals who despite their efforts of being open minded, usually end up saying some pretty ridiculous things about gay couples and the gay community. My friends and family are guilty of these crimes, and you know what, it’s ok. As long as you learn from your (and other’s) mistakes there is no harm done.

Here is a list o f common riff raff I hear straight people say:

1. Which one is the guy and which one is the girl/Who wears the pants in the relationship.

Well, we’re both men, and we both wear pants.
No one is trying to be ‘the girl’ in the relationship, at least not anyone with a good head on their shoulders. Gay relationships are different than that of straight ones, there’s two parties of the same sex so the roles are different, more equal in responsibility and interaction.

2. He’s gay? Have you seen him wear makeup and dresses?

Do you know how many gay guys I know who are cross-dressers? NONE.
Cross dressers and transvestites are different than homosexuals. People who want to cross dress and have a sex change believe that they were created in the wrong sex. They have the physique of one gender but the mindset of another. Homosexuality on the other hand is the attraction of a MAN to a man, not the attraction of a man who thinks he’s a woman trapped in a man’s body to another man.

3. He’s gay? Oh man, I hope he doesn’t hit on me.

I get this from straight guys a lot. If a gay man hits on a straight guy, I assure you he’s a moron with too much time on his hands. That’s like a woman knowing I’m gay and trying to put the moves on me – there’s no point! And no gay guy with the slightest common sense would hit on a straight man because it’d only be a waste of his time and energy.

Besides, have you seen gay men? They’re usually the hot ass who women wish was straight. Why waste your time chasing a 6 when most of us gay men are 10’s =)

4. Gay Men = Anal sex

According to the 2005 survey conducted by U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 40% of straight men and 35% of straight women ages 25-44 engaged in anal intercourse – 7x the number of gay men surveyed!

It’s a common misconception that all gay men engaged in anal sex, since men don’t have vaginas and modern day “sex” is perceived as a penis going into some form of a hole. But as surveys suggest, the majority of gay couples practice mutual masturbation, oral sex, and frot in place o f anal sex.

So you straight folks out there are butt banging more than us gay guys!!

5. Gays are people too!

I’m sorry, do I have four arms or three penises (that would be awesome) for you to give yourself the right to say something like that about me?

Gays aren’t monsters, nor are we mentally challenged or handicapped. As a matter of fact we’re pretty amazing: creative, health conscience, athletic, good dancers, and not to mention pretty damn good looking. And yet you don’t see us saying “straights men are people too!” now do you?

That is all for now, and I hope that instead of being offended by my er…expressive list, you choose to learn from it and truly stand by the gay community as an open minded individual.

About thepersiancloset

Hey there! I'm a gay Iranian-American raised in the US, studying Dentistry and hoping to open up my own practice some day. Being brought up in a Persian household proved (and proves!) to be difficult when my very liberal gay self clashes with the more conservative members of the household. Follow me on a week to week journey of growing up Gay in the Persian closet!
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