Signs that He’ll Stand You Up


Ok, so a topic that’s a bit more embarrassing. But there is a good chance that you’ll be stood up sooner or later in life, so it’s worth your while to watch out for these signs.

I’ve been stood up twice in my life, once a few years back by an Israeli guy who turned out to be a nut job, and just recently by a seemingly sweet Mexican man.

Of course I wouldn’t blog about this topic based on just my own experiences, so I asked around and here are a few common trends to look out for.

1)     He’s too into you.

You’ve been talking for a while, whether on the phone, casually at school, work, or online, and without even meeting you for a date he’s really into you. He says hi to you in the mornings, sends you random sweet text messages, and knows more about you than you do about him.

It’s pretty easy to get caught up in a guy that seems that he’s that into you, so you show up and well, no dice.

What’s probably happened is that he’s created this faux perfect image of who you are as a person and is too much of a coward to show up in person and face you, in turn facing reality. His perfect image of you, might, after all, be distorted. Usually people who’ve really been hurt are a good candidate.

2)     He talks a lot about meeting up, but never initiates it.

You’ve been talking for a while and are waiting for him to ask you out. He talks about meeting up for coffee or dinner, even acts excited, but never actually makes plans to meet up with you.

Again, he’s too infatuated with the idea of meeting up with you and that faux image he’s created for you to want to actually go ahead with it. Instead he wastes your time on the phone or online, holding on to that faux image as long as possible.

3)     Your gut tells you he’ll flake.

Eight out of the ten people I asked about this, including myself, had a really bad gut feeling about the guy we were going to meet up with.  You’ve met plenty of characters throughout your life, and your intuition has certainly adapted along with your experiences.

If you feel that he’s a flaky coward, then don’t give him the benefit of the doubt. Call and cancel, because he certainly won’t give you the same gratitude, ruining your day’s plans, not to mention leaving you sitting alone somewhere looking like a loser, waiting  for a guy that will never show.

It’s important to protect yourself against guys who waste your time. Now, that’s not to say that every guy who’s excited to meet up with you and sends you sweet texts will flake on you.

Just use your noggin, if the guy persistently asks questions about your life he should be asking in person, is overly eager about meeting up but never asks you out, and your gut is telling you something is off, then do yourself a favor and get far far away from him!

Being stood up, frankly, sucks. But at least in my case the coward inspired a blog entry! So thank you flaky Mexican man, to you I say “what comes around goes around” – may you get your share.


About thepersiancloset

Hey there! I'm a gay Iranian-American raised in the US, studying Dentistry and hoping to open up my own practice some day. Being brought up in a Persian household proved (and proves!) to be difficult when my very liberal gay self clashes with the more conservative members of the household. Follow me on a week to week journey of growing up Gay in the Persian closet!
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