the Division


In the world of gay men, there are two major schools of thought:

You’re either an activist,  proud, open, and spend most of your weekends out and about in gay bars.

Or you’re in the closet, and I mean DEEP in the closet, avoid anything relating to homosexuality (except for sex), could care less about equal rights, and spend your time in straight bars with friends who, subsequently, also think you’re straight.

Now there is nothing ‘wrong’ with either of these scenarios, as long as you’re happy, se la vi.  The issue comes into play then when the latter starts bashing on gays just to fit in.

I’ve come to witness several different men throughout my lifetime who were obviously closeted in my eyes (whether by gaydar or seeing them on a gay dating site) who have gone out of their way to bash other gays to make their friends happy (and less suspicious?) or have stood by silently while gays were bashed by others.

You don’t have to be gay to stand up for equality. Just like you didn’t have to be Black to stand up for African Americans during the Civil Rights movement. Wrong is wrong!

And if you sit by passively and say nothing, you are no better than those spouting hateful words.

Or worse, those who run their mouths to cover their own tracks. Do they know the amount of damage they are doing to the gay community? Do they even care? Is your own selfish desire to fit in with a seemingly ignorant homophobic bunch who would turn on you as well that much more important than standing up for a group that have done virtually NOTHING to deserve such hate except love and make love to the same sex?


Since when is it OK to contribute to bullying? We see little kids take their lives every month because of bullying and here we have grown men contributing to the problem.

To these bystanders and bashers I say: If gay men are well and good for your bedroom, then they are good enough for you to stand up for them as well.

Our community is about MEN.

Start acting like one.



About thepersiancloset

Hey there! I'm a gay Iranian-American raised in the US, studying Dentistry and hoping to open up my own practice some day. Being brought up in a Persian household proved (and proves!) to be difficult when my very liberal gay self clashes with the more conservative members of the household. Follow me on a week to week journey of growing up Gay in the Persian closet!
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