He’s dark haired, has a constant 5 o’clock shadow that tickles my neck when he kisses it. Although he has fair skin, his arm hair and hairy legs make him seem a bit more dark. He loves spontaneity, cracks an expected smile when you compliment him (because he knows he’s good looking), and his eyes beam mischief. He’s also a total flirt, doesn’t bother to keep promises and plans if they don’t strike his mood, and it’d be a really good day if he complimented you back.

He’s blonde, face smooth as a baby’s bottom which doesn’t do much for me when he kisses my neck. His light hair goes well with his Bradley Cooper blue eyes and fair skin, but he chooses to tan which make his appearance seem unnatural. He makes me smile by giving me unhesitant and heartfelt compliments. He goes out of his way to get my attention and tries to reach me with small selfless gestures. He holds me tightly as we dance as if I’ll fade away, all the meanwhile, I’m too busy noticing the dark mischievous prick across the room.

They are my Ying Yang, one light, kind, and true, the other dark, mischievous, and oozing with sex appeal. And here I am stuck in between, not wanting to give up my little ray of sunshine, nor commit to it, leaving behind the sensual appeal of the dark. At the end of the day, neither of them makes me happy.

I know that the blonde blue eyed sweetheart is who’s good for me, who will boost my spirits and come home to me and only me at night. But as I try to cling onto the light, physics takes control, for the dark absorbs all and any light…and let’s be quite clear, there is nothing more physically appealing than the call of physics.

It’s hard to balance both Ying and Yang, perhaps that’s why the Far East has written so many poems and stories revolving around the two forces in our world.

And the struggle is, needless to say, endless.


About thepersiancloset

Hey there! I'm a gay Iranian-American raised in the US, studying Dentistry and hoping to open up my own practice some day. Being brought up in a Persian household proved (and proves!) to be difficult when my very liberal gay self clashes with the more conservative members of the household. Follow me on a week to week journey of growing up Gay in the Persian closet!
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